The Race For President

Sticking to your convictions you refuse to take any psychological tests. "I ain't crazy, I ain't taking any damn tests!" You exclaim to the Senate committee.

However no one really believes you. The Senate committee quickly disbands, fearing the major embarrassment that you have the potential of causing it. The press calls you such names as `crazy,' `insane,' `whacko,' and `just plain nuts.' You are even the subject of a Saturday Night Live skit, that makes light of your alleged mental instability. Norm MacDonald plays you.

Your lawyer calls you to tell you that he has made the decision to take all you aunt's money away form you, and give it to her favorite charity, The Association of retired Fish Mongers. You are left penniless, and unable to find a job since all of America is convinced you are nuts. You finally come to the decision that if you can't beat them, join them. So you check yourself into a mental institution. It's not all that bad, you get a clean bed, a roof over you head, three meals a day, and you are beginning to make some really good friends. "I should have done this years ago." You think to yourself as you wait on line to get your daily medicine supply.


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