"Are you stupid, boy?" Bob Dole asks you after you turn down his deal.
"Yeah, but I'm going to be president." You reply with a twist of wit.
"Nobody says no to Bob Dole without paying."
With that, Candidate Dole hangs up on you. You pay little attention to his warning, as you build up a burst of energy towards your campaign. You're ready to really turn the corner, and take over the race. Just as you're about to call your campaign manager to share your pep with him, the phone rings. It's Newt, and he drops a bombshell right on you. It seems right after he hung up with you, Dole called Gingrich and offered him a deal of his own. If Gingrich dropped out of the race, Dole would name him has his running mate at the convention. Newt took the bait quicker than Rosie O' Donnell eats a bag of Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies. It will take a master surgeon to remove the knife buried so deep in your back.
You decide to stay in the election, naming comedian Drew Carey as your new running mate, but without Gingrich you are nothing. However, you do have a blast along the way, using all your aunt's money to rent out stadiums across the country, and stage huge rock festivals/campaign drives. Every night you get all the big stars to perform, as people flock from all over. But unfortunately it doesn't work, as come election day you get .01 percent of the popular vote, and finish behind the Socialist candidate. It was fun while it lasted, but I guess now you better start looking for another job.
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