Feff: (Walks to counter and puts down the Cliffs Notes for Wuthering Heights)
Cashier: (Shakes her elitist head in dissapproval)
Cashier: You'll never learn.
Feff: What do you mean?
Cashier: You'll never learn anything reading Cliffs Notes.
Feff: I'll learn a helluva lot more than if I read the book.
Cashier: You won't go anywhere with that attitude.
Feff: You mean I won't be able to get a cool job at a book store?
Cashier: You know what I mean.... That will be $3.95
Feff: (Smiling) Uh, I get 10% off with my frequent reader card.
Cashier: (Shakes her head silently in defeat as she rings in the discount)
Book Store Patrons: (Cheer wildly as they carry Feff out of the store on their shoulders)
Now, all joking aside, as an extra bonus I give you the top ten books that Feff actually read:
10. Reggie (The Autobiography) - Reggie Jackson with Mike Lupica
9. The Natural - Bernard Malamud
8. Rendevous with Rama - Arthur C. Clarke
7. The Communist Manifesto - Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
6. Barry Goldwater: Extremist of the Right - Fred J. Cook
5. Alamo Soldiers - Phil Rosenthal
4. None Dare Call it Treason - John Stormer
3. It Didn't Start with Watergate - Victor Lasky
2. Childhood's End - Arthur C. Clarke
1. The Gods of Eden - William Bramley