Time, Music, and Conspiracies
November 9, 1997

Howdy once again choades and choadettes. This time I have three journal entries for you. If you like the past two Whacks, then you'll most likely enjoy this one as well.

Time, Time, Ticking Away

Time is going to be the death of me, it's going to be the death of us all. I always thought that money would be the biggest obstacle for me to overcome in life. I was just naive. You can find money if you look hard enough. Hell, even if you're too lazy to look for it, you could probably find a way to get it from the government. The government won't give you time though. You can't find time either. Time is just always going by you, and you'll never be able to grasp it. Right now as I'm thinking of the next word to write down, time is rapidly going by. Wait, let me demonstrate: [short pause]. During that short pause I did absolutely nothing. But time, on the other hand, still went by as if I was doing something. So by not doing anything, I wasted that time. And it's too late, there's no way I will ever be able to get that time back. You can get your money back. If you buy something you don't like, you can bring it back, get your money back, and buy something else. You can't do that with time. You can't bring back five minutes that you wasted and expect to get five minutes back to try and use more efficiently. It doesn't work that way, I only wish it did. When time is concerned, all sales are final. People don't realize that. And this is why was all waste so much time. We should start treating time like it is a precious metal, because it is definitely the rarest thing on Earth. I guess also that a lot of the problem is that while we can know how much money we have, we can never know how much time we have. I live life like I have a lot of time. But if I die before I'm seventy, I'm screwed. God forbid if I died tomorrow, or the world ended the next day, because I would be really pissed. I would be cursing every half hour I wasted watching Saved by the Bell, or every hour that I wasted sleeping longer than I really had to. I could have definitely spent that time more valuably. I could have been out there living my life, instead of in here wasting it. I guess the whole moral of the story is live life to the fullest, carpe diem, blah... blah... blah, all that bullshit. So for that reason I will end this journal entry short because frankly, I have better things to do with my time than write in this thing.


Before I dive into the main section of this journal entry, I would like to point out that I noticed something. If you compare my early journal entries to my past few, it seems that my pen is slowly beginning to run out of ink. I have used the same pen for all of my entries, and if you look closely (apologies to my Web page readers), the ink of the first few entries is much darker than the ink of the last few ones. So it appears that my pen is slowly dying. It's a shame though because it was a good pen, a Cross to be specific. It was the type of pen that I got as a gift, and I normally wouldn't use it, but I had nothing else, and ended up using it anyway. But I guess I'll just have to buy a new pen. But anyhoo, I wanted to talk about music. Music is the shit. Nothing seems to have such a power over people than music. I don't know what it is. Music can just grab me and hold me than any other form of art or expression out there. Can't explain why though. Maybe it's because it can express so much in such a small period of time. That has got to be it. I have the attention span of a gnat. I can't read a book to inspire me because I can't inspire myself to take the time to read a book. Music doesn't take time. All I need is a four and a half minute long Journey song, and BOOM, I'm there. My life is in focus, my problems are solved, and I'm ready to conquer the world. Music has a power, and it is for this reason that people feel so strongly about the music they like. People think their music is the greatest music on Earth, while other people's music sucks. And if you meet someone who likes the same type of music as you, no matter how different he or she may be from you, you instantly feel somehow connected to him. I'm telling you man it's a religious thing. People treat their music like their religion. I've gotten in fights with people over music. Maybe someday there will even be a music related war. But I guess it's because music provides people with the same thing that religion does: hope, inspiration, guidance, faith... all those things. When life has got me down and I need something to push me along, I don't turn to God, I turn to music.

It's a Conspiracy

I was thinking the other day about conspiracy theories, well actually I was thinking about them right now. I mean there are a lot of conspiracies theories out there. It seems like for every event that occurs in history, there is some sort of conspiracy around it. Every presidential assassination there was has some sort of conspiracy around it. I mean it's ridiculous. I think it really gets out of hand when people talk about conspiracies surrounding deaths of people not as important as presidents, and I'm not talking about Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, or Bobby Kennedy, because they were probably just as important as most presidents. I'm talking about people like Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin. Did you know that there are conspiracies surrounding the deaths of all three of them? Apparently they were too extreme for the government, so the government had them each killed. Now I have real trouble buying into that one. I mean when you talk about conspiracies you have to accept that there is a secret government. I mean it can't be the real government that does it. I can't see Congress voting on a resolution to kill an extremist rock star. I never saw that on C-Span. So there must be another government, a secret government, that does all this stuff. Clinton isn't hiding the truth about the UFO's, he doesn't even know the truth about the UFO's. It's all the secret government. So that brings up a question though. Who the hell is in this secret government? If the president is not in control, then who is, and how did he get his job? How does one go about forming a secret government? Inquiring minds would like to know. And how can I get to work for the secret government? Do they accept applications? Can I start out working in their mail room and then climb my way up to head conspiracy maker? And I wonder how they are organized. Like do they just have a bunch of people sitting around a big table doing everything, or are they separated into departments like the real government? There's the department of killing presidents, the department of UFO cover-up, and the department of killing extremist rock stars. And then all of the departments run separately, but under the control of the "secret government" president. He's like Clinton, but with more power. But then what if the secret government president was assassinated and there was a conspiracy around it? Now that Alanis Morrisette, would be ironic.